Tallest Fishing Tale Contest

[GLF]

We will be having a "Tallest Fishing Tale" contest till the end of July. These are fisherman's lies. At the end of July, we will select what we feel are the 5 best fishing tales and put them in a poll for everyone to vote on. The voting poll will last for one week.

Entry's will be judged by how well they are written and the best tale. Make up a good story and be creative!

The winner of the contest will receive a copy of Keating on Kings. I have this book for sale here (http://www.greatlakesfisherman.com/forums/showthread.php?t=388).

Good luck to everyone!

Mike

[DangerDan]

As a teen I used to fish this pier in Bay St. Louis Mississippi. One summer (during the Jaws era) we were shark fishing off of this pier when these two guys come out and hook this hunk of meat on a very large hook and toss it off the pier into the water much like the guys in the movie. Several hours pass and they leave, leaving thier hook & meat hanging off the side of the pier. We continue fishing and hadd several sand sharks caught and were cutting the jaws out with a lantern when we hear this constant flapping sound on the water. I hang the lantern over the side to see this Huge stingray at the end of the line trying to swim away. Through the night my brother and I hoisted that mut toward the pier and up as high as we could get him. Soon enough the morning crowd started showing up and helped to get this huge fish onto the pier. The newspaper showed up to take pictures and measurments were taken with a length of a little more than 6 feet in length and a width of almost 8 feet with 9" spikes. This monster had teeth like you wouldn't believe. Biggest damn stingray I ever saw up close.

[GLF]

I moved a couple of the stories from this thread. These are suppose to be tall stories(fishermans's lies).

Tell us about the 58lb Brown Trout you caught, or the 58' shark you caught. Maybe when you cleaned your fish and cut open the belly you found a 3 ct. diamond ring in the belly.

Make up your best non-true fishing tale. Be creative!

[DangerDan]

You Believed the Stingray story??? ok maybe it was 9 feet long and 12 feet wide... yeah thats it..

[GLF]

You Believed the Stingray story??? ok maybe it was 9 feet long and 12 feet wide... yeah thats it..

I moved yours back. I think I saw that picture in the paper. For some reason it was glowing green :eek:

[GLF]

Stories had been going around the Great Lakes, about a giant steelhead that was at least 7' long and weighed 280lbs. This steelhead was named Molby Chromer. Stories had been told that Molby had sunk a few boats by jumping 30' in the air and coming down on top of the boat.

I decided I would book a charter and go after Molby Chromer! I booked a charter on board one of the federation fishing charters. The name of the boat was the Enterprise. She is a futuristic 46' Hatteraus with a 16' beam, powered by two nuclear reactors and capable of running 98 knots on the water. The Enterpise is rigged with 8 down riggers and 24 rod holders.

I showed up at 4AM and met the Captain(Captain Levi) and his first mate(Shades). We untied and was soon on our way. We hit the pier heads and the lake was rolling 20' ers. Captain Levi said to hang on and put the Enterprise on plane. We was cruising along at 48 knots when Captain Levi asked me if I would like to see what the Enterprise would do. Wanting to see what she would do, I said to drop the hammer. Captain Levi mashed the throttles foreward, and I was pinned to the back of my seat from the exceleration. It was as if we had hit warp drive.

We shut down 5 minutes after we left the pier in 300 FOW. Shades quickly began setting lines. He went about his usual routine of setting the 8 riggers, 8 divers, 8 in-line planers off the port side, and 8 in-line planers off the starboard side. I was amazed at how fast he had the spread set. From the time we shut down until the time he had the last in-line planer set, it had only been 3 minutes. I have never seen anyone move as fast as shades. If I did not know any better, I would have thought he was an android or something.

We had been trolling around for 2 hours when one of the in-line planers took a hit. I grabbed the rod(9' Garantuum rod spooled with 1,000 yards of 200lb test superline) and prepared for battle. Instantly, the line started peeling off the reel. Captain Levi and Shades knew immediatly that this was Molby Chromer. Shades started pulling in the other rods as the line was screaming off my reel. I turned around and looked, and Shades had the 23 rods pulled in already. They strapped me into the fighting chair and the battle was on. 500 yds of line had been spooled off already, and smoke was starting to come from the reel. Shades dumped some water on it to cool it off. After another 250 yds of line screaming off the reel, Captain Levi decided we would have to chase after Molby in order to get it in. Captain Levi turned the boat around and started chasing after Molby. I preceeded to reel in what ever line I could in the process. 3 hours of chasing later, Molby started to slow down.

I was not sure where on Lake Michigan we were, but Molby was directly under the boat with 200 yds of line out. I was pulling as hard as I could and could not get Molby to budge. All of the sudden the line went slack and I started reeling as fast as I could. All of a sudden this enormous steelhead jumped out of the water beside the boat and was at least 50' in the air doing all sorts of flips and spins. Molby must have been at least 8' long and was now coming down directly at the boat. Captain Levi being the sharp Captain that he is, gunned the Enterprise and avoided Molby crashing down on us. Molby landed 20' from the boat and took off on another run. This time he only pulled off 400yards of line before he turned. Once again, I started cranking in line as fast as I could. Molby shot past the boat and spooled off another 100 yds of line.

After 6 hours of fighting and a couple of near misses, we got Molby up beside the boat. Shades could see that the hook was barely in the corner of the mouth, grabbed a rope and jumped in the water on top of Molby. After 10 minutes under the water, Shades came to the surface with the rope. We helped Shades get back in the boat. I thought Molby was gone and that was the last I would see of him. Then Shades started pulling in the rope. He had tied up Molby while he was underwater thrashing around.

The 3 of us pulled Molby Chromer in the boat. We checked the GPS and we was Just North of Green Bay. Captain Levi put the Enterprise on plane and mashed the throttle. We pulled into St. Joe 30 minutes later with Molby Chromer and our tale to tell. I did get one picture of Captain Levi and Molby Chromer.

Captain Levi and Molby Chromer
http://www.greatlakesfisherman.com/gallery/files/2/0/6/hammerhead9_550x366.psd.jpg

[Dv8oR]

It was the final days of my military career and all of the $2.00 a day 30' Tiara's rentals were already out. I look over and see the A.S.S. Greenball, just sitting at an idle at dock. Capt. Moronski left to pick up some scud missles and one of the deckswabbers waved me over. "I can drive it, and put you on fish" he says. "Capt. Moron, (they called him for short) won't be back for a few hours, and besides, I'm sure he won't mind." So swabby and me headed out.

She was a beautiful vessel, a 632' Algerian battleship that held downriggers instead of guns (32 to be exact) and 16 rod holders on every one. True canonballs and everything. The riggers doubled as catapults that launced testicular a-bombs in case of wartime need. Powered by every terrorist ever wanted strapped into the transom legs hanging out for kicking action and 10 737 engines this baby could do light speed in just under 4 seconds, and troll at a low, low .03 miles per hour if we wanted her to!

Austrailian ZipperMuscle is the game of the day and the Chinese border is where we were heading. We here they were getting them right by the nuclear waste dump of the Chinese and Yum is all we could think! The prefered bait we hear was hollow Volkswagen sized Jplugs full of jellybeans and rice, in about 17,000 feet of water and a beautiful -2 f thermocline set up right at 5714.23 feet. We arrived before you know it and with no auto-pilot I was setting up alone. Swabby beaps the horn and tells me to "rock and roll" so the sprint was on. As I'm setting rods I arm everyone with a different tone cowbell of course keeping a log of what note is where. as to no confusion for Swabby and myself.

After an almost 1/4 mile run arming the Greenball (Yes you can run 512 lines with just two guys when your zippermuscle fishing, you need 10 guys for 513), I realize I'm hearing a Cminor and a Gmajor..... Sh%t I think! A quadruple, double to the third power...... I start to scream "HELP SWABBY, HELP!!!!!" We have muscle on every line!!!! We hit the biggest school of Zippermuscles ever known to man!!!! Then I realize..... Oh No they were rocking the Greenball...... We're going to capsize!!!! Run Swabby, Run!!!

As everything moves into extremely slow motion, I look up to see Capt. Moronski on his Inspector Gadget Helio Hat hovering above us, flipping us the bird and laughing like a hyena. He yells "just kidding" and lowers down and puts us in his cargo pant pocket. He pushes a remote control button and the Riggers on the Greenball start catapulting Zippermuscle right into the ships livewell as the ship starts to right itself. As he's flying back he says "Don't worry about the ship men, and thanks for finding that full load of Zippermuscle!!! The ship will drive itself back the dock when its done and I'll take you guys out for a nice Buffalo Rump dinner!!!" "And of course I'll let you have a couple of those 25,000lb Zippermuscles!!!"

Unfortunately my underwater camera split open the film popped out so the pictures I'm still working on. I hear if ya let the film soak in toilet water with the blue water installed it will fix the film in about 4 years. Some kind of saltwater/blue toilet water reaction..... You don't even have to have them developed, it turns 'em right into the picture!!!

[caznik]

Well along time ago after high school I use to go fishing alot down south in the Gulf of Mexico and there was alot of good looking girls that I use to take out fishing with me. Well here is one my first dates that I had down there.

This is Kelly that caught a nice Red fish that day.

http://www.fishingwithcliff.com/Babes/BabeImages/Pic003.jpg

Well about three months later I happen to break up with her and went out with this girl. Ya her name is Katie, that day we went fishing the river and she loves to hold my beer for me.

http://www.fishingwithcliff.com/Babes/BabeImages/Pic001.gif

Here is a video that I took of my first boat that I use to charter in. In this video is Sarah C and I with some hot babes that we took out fishing.

http://www.swordfishingcentral.com/fishing-girls.html

Well Id show you more but there is to many to show off.


Good luck fishing,

Caznik :D

[Treblemaker]

Once when I fished out of Port Sheldon fishing and the bite was dead slow. No one was catching much and some guy comes on the radio saying he had some sort of Cazzzz attack thingie going on.:) Well this guy goes on to say how he just boated a triple and had a quadrouple on right now and signed off with "Oooooh Kaaaaay". Well as it turns out he was the only one who caught anything at all that day, and when we saw him at the ramp his cooler was stuffed with fish and tails sticking out of it. As it turned out he was fishing with one of his babes, which was also his hot bait...a Super J Plug.:D :cool: :eek:

[huntingfool43]

Once when I fished out of Port Sheldon fishing and the bite was dead slow. No one was catching much and some guy comes on the radio saying he had some sort of Cazzzz attack thingie going on.:) Well this guy goes on to say how he just boated a triple and had a quadrouple on right now and signed off with "Oooooh Kaaaaay". Well as it turns out he was the only one who caught anything at all that day, and when we saw him at the ramp his cooler was stuffed with fish and tails sticking out of it. As it turned out he was fishing with one of his babes, which was also his hot bait...a Super J Plug.:D :cool: :eek:

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE NOW THAT RIGHT THERE IS FUNNY :D :D :D

[caznik]

Once when I fished out of Port Sheldon fishing and the bite was dead slow. No one was catching much and some guy comes on the radio saying he had some sort of Cazzzz attack thingie going on.:) Well this guy goes on to say how he just boated a triple and had a quadrouple on right now and signed off with "Oooooh Kaaaaay". Well as it turns out he was the only one who caught anything at all that day, and when we saw him at the ramp his cooler was stuffed with fish and tails sticking out of it. As it turned out he was fishing with one of his babes, which was also his hot bait...a Super J Plug.:D :cool: :eek:

Man why does everyone have to pick on me. :D

Caznik

[DIRTY DOG]

hey caz this looks just lick the dirty dog except the fish are a bit smaller and the ladies a bit larger

[CaptLevi]

These are just way too funny! Cept that true story bout me and Shades! I didn't want the word to get out that we caught that fish. Now I won't be able to book any more Molby Charters at 1/2 Million Bux per angler!(+ tip of course;Shades needs to eat ya know, that underwater fish rasslin makes him work up quite an appetite!):D
Guess we'll have to start advertising for our Two Hundred Pound Laker's on a can of Tuna Charters! Or I'm gonna have to show folks how to catch those 30 lb. monster alewive on slip-bobbers. (man can they scream the drag of an ultra-lite!) Or better yet, the King Kong King Salmon that we have targeted that eat 'em.
Just make sure if you book one of these charters that you:
1. Bring a couple lunches and lots of liquid refreshments...
2. Wear some Depends...
3. Update your will...
4. Bring lots of cash for Shades tip, rasslin those 400 lb. King Kong Kings will cost ya fer sure!

[caznik]

This video reminds me when I took Huntingfool43 out fishing with me the first time I took him out fishing with me at the first Brown Blast. He was pretty much afraid of the salmon jumping in my boat and was afraid to touch them that day. Then the second time I took him out fishing he was a little bit better but all he would do is loose fish. All day long he lost fish and kept telling me that my hooks wasn't sharp. But I see now that Steve is now not afraid of fish after fishing with Catfishhoge. Oh Rick must of been pretty tough with him, because team Catfishhoge had won the first West Mich Fishing League event this year.

:D

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=b43ad59a-d04a-40f5-b26a-e8d520c0f31f&t=c156&f=06/64&p=hotvideo_viralvideos


Caznik

[Satisfaxion_Gauranteed]

While I didn't get the great pictures some of you have(especially Caz), I did manage one crazy adventure..........

I like to call it The BEST Fishing Trip Ever

It was a gorgeous day in late July fishing aboard The Pirate’s Fantasy. The crew consisted of me, Captain Big-One, and my good friends Long Neck and Pokey. We’d been fishing all afternoon without a lot of luck. The big success of the day was Long Neck catching Pokey from falling overboard while peeing off the side of the boat. Then, out of nowhere, this tickling breeze came off the lake. At that same instance, that familiar “FISH ON” came from Pokey. While Long Neck rushed to the dancing rod, two more reels started screaming. Immediately, all three of us were engaged in an epic battle. This battle was different. As we fought to gain line on our tingling poles, our hearts pounded like 19 year old boys surrounded by the Swedish bikini team. As we strained, the sweat poured from our brows. Then, suddenly, time seemed to stop and out of the breeze came a team of the hottest female pirates you’ve ever seen. Each of them with very nice skin tone and one in particular in nothing but a loin clothe and a smile. I was convinced that I had slipped and hit my head. Who had ever heard of hot female pirates anyway? But just then, time started up again and the all three of us were resuming the great battle to pull in these monster fish. However, the pirates were still on board! Immediately, my thoughts were split between impure visions of booty and plundering pirates and this trophy to end all trophies I had on the other end of my line.

The epic battle continued down its ravenous course. As we battled, the scantily clad, hot, smiling pirates were massaging our now aching arms, necks, and shoulders. They even made beer hats out of fishing line and fenders for us so that we could continue to replenish our spent energies. Pokey’s fish was a monster—at least 35lbs!! It was netted by the red head pirate in the leather boots and cutoff buccaneer pants. That was followed by the even larger fish Long Neck pulled into the boat, with, of course, the help of the brunette pirate wearing the parrot on her shoulder complimented with the seashore necklace. The day was nearing its end. My fish was still not onboard. It had become apparent to the pirate ladies that the battle I had in my hands was above and beyond anything any of us had ever seen. They began chanting, “Big one…..Big one…..Big one.” They began working in shifts massaging my aching muscles and refilling my custom beer hat. The blonde pirate even removed her loin clothe to wipe my forehead with cool water. Good thing she had her pirate hat or else she would have been naked! This was a fish fight to end all fights! As the beast of a fish drew near, I could feel my heart pound. Finally, the 91.392 pounder ended up in my boat.

As we approached the pier heads, the Nauti Pirates were singing, “Hail to the Conquering Hero.” The smile I had on my face was the only thing bigger than the fish.

That was the best fishing trip ever.

[GLF]

13 days left to tell your tale.

[GLF]

4 Days left. You may post more than one tale.

[Sixshooter]

One day Caz beat me Fishing.



MUUUAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And of course the super J plug and Big Mamma were hangin out on the bow of his boat...Litterally Hangin out.

[GLF]

You have until Midnight tonight to get your tale in. We will pick what we feel is the top 5 tomorrow and have a poll for one week for the best tale.